Effortless Thursdays #11: A dog's guide to reclaiming the joy in your leadership

Lessons from our four-legged friends

Becoming a leader can often feel like that boisterous kid who desperately wants a dog. 

After you've got what you've been striving for, the moment your pooch has christened your home, that "Day 1 of Joy" ebbs imperceptibly, effortlessly away, and both dog and dog owner alike feel like they've been left in a dog home abandoned.

If you're a leader sitting at your desk reading this - sometimes feeling like you're coasting, sometimes wrecked with anxiety or imposter syndrome not knowing if what you're doing is "right" - here's how to let go of that and reclaim the joy for what you do.

Dogs teach us a lot about joy - and ourselves

If you have a dog, you'll know that they're bundles of unconditional love. You get home and no matter what kind of a day you've had, no matter how ratty you might be, your pooch greets you as if you had emigrated 10 years ago and you've just arrived back home.

They put on the best welcome home celebrations, don't they?

And then after the welcome home, wagging tails slow, the jumping up - and up and onto you - turns into thoughts of a nice nap on the comfy sofa.

Those thoughts turn into anxiety when you leave.

And then they turn into frustration and boredom when your pooch thinks you've emigrated. Again!

It mirrors the stages of being a leader:

Stage 1: Excitement

Stage 2: Settling in

Stage 3: Anxiety

Stage 4: Frustration

Stage 5: Boredom

More or less. 

Like the five stages of grief, they're not linear. You can experience them at any time and at differing intensities. 

Maybe you're a leader who doesn't tend to experience stages 3-5: you're excited, and have that freshly settled-in feeling. If so, it sounds like you've already found your way of reclaiming the joy in what you do.

But maybe, just maybe, you're a leader who feels like the joy has been sapped out of what you're doing day in, day out?

Dogs are masters at resetting

The unconditional joy dogs show in kind in licks and whines and wagging tails when you get back at the end of another day of work, it's almost like they've forgotten that you emigrated that morning for what felt like 10 years.

If you've spent any time with a dog, you’ll know that endorphin rush you get when you experience that joy with them.

Joy brings more joy.

Dogs are masters at resetting to experience joy. How? They focus on what’s important.

So with our four-legged friends in mind, here's how to rediscover that "Day 1 of Joy" feeling in what you do and how you lead.

How do you reset and reclaim your joy?

1. Focus on what you need, rather than what you want

We all want a promotion, a bigger office, a pay rise. 

When we get them - which is often the case when we're high achievers - we realise the painful way that we might not want them after all. 

Who sets out wanting longer hours, being away from home travelling, dealing with the burden of responsibility, spending 80% of your time at work, 20% of your time with your family, and 0% of your time for yourself.

That's not to say we shun leadership.

Instead, we can nurture the needs behind the wants.

Needs like freedom, time and health. The fundamental human needs that we all have and yearn for.

When we focus on cultivating these they open the door for joy to come back.

For example, if you want a big promotion, but your health is important to you, what strategies can you try to accomplish both?

2. Focus on your wins, rather than your problems

High achievers are great problem solvers. It's one of the major reasons why we can turn our hand to something new, and succeed.

But the focus on the problem we are solving, crowds out the wins that we have along the way.

Take some time to remind yourself of what you've achieved - no matter how small.

Celebrate it, don't forget it.

3. Compare yourself to yourself, rather than others

Our minds play tricks on us. We can look at someone's achievements, and berate ourselves for "not having as many clients", "not having as many followers", not feeling confident in being able to achieve even a fraction of “what they did”. 

It's normal because we forget the time, effort and determination it took for them to get there. We pay attention to their outcome, and not on the process.

We all grow through curiosity and practise. You don't need to compare yourself to someone else 10 years ahead of you. Instead, use them for what they're great at: inspiration for you. 

Then compare yourself to where you are and your own goals. Stick to your plan, not someone else's.

4. Believe you are on the right path

When we're ambitious, we often want more. 

When your "more" is tied to what's important to you: your values and your needs, you can afford to trust that you're on the right path.

I see the high achieving professionals and entrepreneurs I coach second guessing the path they’re on. It’s a source of their drive, but also of anxiety and feeling that what they’re doing is “not enough”.

Rather than second guessing all the time whether or not you're on the right path, you can tap into your heart and your gut from time to time to tell you if it's time to switch paths or stay the course.

If you want to tap into the wisdom of your other two brains - your heart and your gut - this article I wrote has some pointers to help you. 

Over to you

What resonated with you?

What inspiration can you draw from our four-legged friends?

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That’s it for this week!

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