Effortless Thursdays #38: Failing to achieve what you want?
Radiate inwards that which is in your heart
Last week I ran the third session of the Healing Circle. It’s the bi-monthly group coaching sessions I've set up in collaboration with Gillian Bertram, a Functional Medicine practitioner, to help people living with cancer heal.
Many of the patients Gillian works with have - like her - had stage 4 cancer, and have gone into remission, some for up to a decade.
If you’re a professional or entrepreneur reading this, you might be wondering what cancer patients have to do with you.
Good question! I was wondering the same when the idea for today’s newsletter came to me.
The answer 👇
They can show us why we fail to achieve what we want, especially when we know it’s good for us, but also how we can achieve it.
Radiate inwards
The professionals and entrepreneurs I work with are often facing big decisions, dilemmas or transitions in their work.
They’re longing for that big promotion, but are convinced they aren’t ready.
They're selling their business that they've grown and nurtured, and wondering “what’s next?”.
They're struggling to find the time and space for themselves amongst all the commitments and obligations that rain down on them.
Invariably, the challenge that these high-achievers have is not the real challenge that needs solving. Rather, it's often - but not exclusively - about the relationship they have with themselves:
What they’re thinking
What they’re feeling
How they’re behaving
What they need
So what is the solution the Healing Circle revealed about how to achieve what we want - whether it’s for our health or at work - rather than going around in circles of failure?
It’s that we need to radiate inwards that which is in our hearts.
When lightning strikes
A cancer diagnosis is, in the words of one Healing Circle member, “like lightning striking”.
The diagnosis forces you to face death directly, rather than vicariously.
Normally, we experience death through our friend’s father who died in hospital, or our music teacher who passed away. There’s a distance - a perimeter - that keeps us outside of the gravity of death.
And yet, in the middle of the emotional and physical turmoil of facing cancer and death directly, I saw the way in which each Healing Circle member - at whatever stage of cancer - had given themselves permission.
One of the common characteristics of cancer patients, Gillian tells me, is that they are very caring. Like the high-flying leaders I coach, it’s so easy to look after everyone around us. Our teams. Our families. Our friends.
What’s often so difficult is to radiate inwards - back towards ourselves - our heart that we so easily offer others. To give ourselves permission:
to put ourselves first
to consider ourselves worthy of our own care and love
to transcend an “it’s not possible” mindset and, instead, be curious about how to achieve what we want
But that is exactly what members of the Healing Circle have done. They’ve given themselves permission to turn their hearts - that are full of care - towards themselves.
These individuals know what they need to do:
minimising the sources of inflammation through diet (through a paleo-template, nutrient dense, whole-foods approach)
minimising the intake of environmental toxins (in water, air, personal care products, pesticides in food)
calming their nervous system (through breathwork, yoga, meditation etc)
They also know what they want.
But what is different to most of us who say we want something but can’t seem to achieve it, is not so much - perhaps - that we haven’t been struck by lightning. It’s that we haven’t radiated inwards that which is in our hearts. We haven’t given ourselves permission.
Over to you!
What do you want to achieve that you’re not able to achieve right now?
What do you want but you’re struggling with the most?
What’s your big dream?
What’s beyond your current success?
I invite you pause to give yourself permission to radiate inwards that which is in your heart.
And then - after you’ve done that - to look back - in a week, a month, a year, 10 years - and see what you’ve achieved
ps If you’re an entrepreneur, a lawyer or another high-flying professional and want to see how joy can transform your productivity, your impact and the kind of leader you’re known for, get in touch and let’s have a conversation.
That’s it for this week!
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To your health and success!
Eric
