Overcome the biggest destroyer of your performance: your brain
E64: Sometimes, lead from your body, not your brain
"I am sorry. You did not get the promotion."
Nine words that send you on a roller coaster ride, winding you up like a coil spring and unleashing your thoughts all over the place.
You stop focusing on the task at hand.
You wonder if you're in the right career any longer.
Are they really sorry?
You ask yourself, again, why you have spent so many years here when they "just don't value you"?
In this edition of Effortless Thursdays, I'm sharing a 2-Step Framework that I've used with my clients when they "can't get out of their minds" and they are on that roller coaster.
It helps them switch out of reacting to choosing intentionally how they want to respond.
Every one of them that's tried it goes from doing a loop-the-loop to saying in a matter of seconds or minutes:
"It's calmer"
"It's softening"
"It's settled"
And then taking the action that was not open to them before.
When I use this framework, it’s what I notice, too.
🎁 Special Bonus : This week I've also included an 🎙️audio recording🎙️ of the 2-Step Framework I share below so you can press play and experiment with using it as a way to tune into the wisdom of your body.
Scroll down to listen to the framework. 👇
👉 Over to you!
What do you notice when you tune into the wisdom of your body and say no (for just a moment) to your brain?
How is it changing how you feel, think or act?
Do share in the comments section what you’re noticing! What you share might be the catalyst for someone else!
It's amazing, isn't it, how a few words can change:
how you feel - often an emotional crash-bang-wallop - which in turn changes
how you think about yourself - maybe your self-doubt creeps in and your confidence wanes - which in turn changes
how you act - perhaps by venting to a trusted colleague.
Our brain becomes our worst enemy.
It judges.
It jumps to conclusions.
It creates stories to help us understand the world, but those stories can keep us on that roller coaster ride of rumbling rumination.
Of course, this ride doesn't only happen if you miss out on a promotion.
It happens when your colleague has just taken all the credit for a project when you put in all the thinking and hard work.
It happens when the promotion you DID get isn't turning out the way you wanted it to. You hate the stress of the pressure from your team, your stakeholders and your family.
When our brain is always in charge
When we're on these roller coasters at work, we stop taking risks. We become lesser versions of ourselves and feel guilty for not stepping up.
Apathy can set in, mistakes, too, and before we know it the joy we experienced on day 1 has disappeared.
Our performance suffers.
Whilst our brain is usually the most effective partner to solve our problems, willing ourselves to feel better - to "let go", to "care less", to "be less stressed" - is about as useful as a chocolate teapot in the Sahara desert.
So what's the problem?
We're using our brains too much.
Out of our head and into our body
When we're used to our brain solving our problems, it's easy to rely on what we're good at.
But what if there were wisdom that you could also tap into - another partner to help you choose a different kind of ride?
A ride where you are in charge of the speed of the rollercoaster.
What if you had the time and space to respond to your rejections and anxieties, rather than reacting with fear and lack of control?
Here's a two-step framework to say "no" just for a moment to your brain, and say "yes" to tapping into the wisdom of your body, so that you can respond, rather than react.
As one of my clients said,
"I can just be myself without worrying".
2-Step Framework for leading with your body
[🎁 Special Bonus : Click on the 🎙️audio recording🎙️ to hear the 2-Step Framework I share below. You can also download and keep the audio file here.]
The biggest tool we have available to us in our development and transformational journey is our capacity to pay attention.
Our body has the wisdom to create that.
Step 1: When you hear the words "You did not get the promotion", ask yourself, "What is happening inside of you now?"
Focus on the sensations you notice.
There's no need to assess them, judge them or push them away.
Simply notice.
Where are those sensations arising in your body?
Are there any emotions or feelings arising?
Where are they showing up?
Do you notice a warmth? A coolness?
Where is that occurring?
Note: you might find yourself veering away from noticing what's going on inside your body, and hearing the chatter in your brain again.
You'll notice it if you hear yourself saying: "I feel that ... [this was really unfair]". Those words "I feel that" signify another story your brain is concocting. Avoid the temptation to finish these sentence stems and, instead, come back to the sensations in your body.
Step 2: After a few seconds, perhaps a minute or so of noticing what's happening inside of you now, a space will emerge. It's a space where you can come back to your brain and choose how you want to respond. Here are a few ideas about how you might use that space.
How does the world need me to show up right now?
How do I want to act, think or feel right now?
What permission can I give myself that was not possible for me to give before?
ps If you’re an entrepreneur, a lawyer or another high-flying professional - who’s looking to bring joy back into your work and home life - by building a healthy brain for a career that’s full of success in a way that feels effortless, get in touch and let’s have a conversation.
That’s it for this week!
As always, I appreciate your feedback on Effortless Thursdays.
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What did you think of this week’s edition? How can I make it more useful to you? Let me know in the comments, by email, on X or on LinkedIn.
To your health and success!
Eric
Eric, I'm still on a steep learning curve in my new job, even after a little over a year doing it. I have been beating myself up lately for not quite hitting the mark and was particularly feeling it this morning. I read (actually listened) to your blog and it empowered me to speak to my manager and face the issues I've been creating for myself. It was the perfect refocus for me, and he was very reassuring in how he thinks I'm doing. Thank you.