Staying grounded when there’s chaos around you (and inside you)
E80: Three "bottom up" tactics for re-discovering your equanimity when panic sets in
"Will I be murdered?"
That's what I was thinking this morning as I started my day today.
I had checked the app not expecting anything, but there it was. Our car that had been stolen yesterday, that I had reported to the police, that I had told the insurance company was missing — it was right there, blinking away on the map, an hour on the other side of London.
It was 6:15 am.
If I went there right now, perhaps I could avoid the criminal gangs who were guarding it. Maybe they wouldn't be there, and I could casually walk by the car, and check if the key fob still opened it.
It's amazing how our brains can take us on internal adventures.
"There's probably no point calling the police—unlikely they'd come out. But then what happens if something happened to me?"
"What if driving off triggered a silent alarm alerting the criminal gang that their newly found pot of cash (they'd already changed the registration plates within 24 hours) was being 'stolen'?"
"What if I got locked in the car? How could I escape?"
I had all of these thoughts—and more.
But it wasn't only my brain working overtime.
My stomach was churning. I could feel my heart racing. Agonising over whether to wait and go later in the day after my meetings (and risk losing this window and the car disappearing forever) or go now and risk something happening to me.
As I stared at my laptop, I noticed my brain whirring and my gut churning. In that moment, I decided to slow down.
3 Tactics to Restore Equanimity
When your thinking gets out of control, trying to think your way out is as useful as a chocolate teapot. In the moment, the threat my brain had conjured up seemed real. My stomach felt the same. So instead of more thinking, I turned to some "bottom-up" approaches to restore equanimity and calm.
"Top-down" approaches are when we use our brain to reframe or change our perspective. They're not so effective when you're in fight-flight-freeze.
"Bottom-up" approaches use our bodies to change things.
Here are my three favourite ways to restore calm and equanimity in the moment:
1. Notice Sensations in Your Body
When your stomach is doing loop-the-loops, notice it. Follow the sensations.
What do you notice?
Is it pulsing?
Is it hot or cold?
Is it painful?
Be an observer and keep your focus trained on the sensations.
This works best when you don't let your brain start a narrative.
Just focus on describing what you sense.
I often hear from clients when they're experiencing an anxious moment, and we do this together, "The feeling is dissipating."
2. Breathe
Anxious moments can lead to disordered breathing. We hold our breath. It becomes shallow. It's natural as we're preparing to deal with a threat, even if it's only perceived. Focus on your breath. Any kind of breathwork technique works, but activating the parasympathetic nervous system (the one that operates during rest, relaxation, and digestion) is best achieved by taking at least twice as long to breathe out as it does to breathe in.
4-7-8 breathing is one of my favourites. This is a great video explainer from Dr Andrew Weil.
This morning, I tried another breathing techique: breathing in through my nose for a slow count of 4 and breathing out for a slow count of 8.
3. Voo Hum
This is one I learned from Jonny Miller on his Nervous System Mastery Course.
It's especially good at dispelling the emotional charge of anger, and frustration, or when there’s power and intensity running through your nervous system.
Take in a full breath and for the first half of the exhale make the sound VOO – and for the second half make a HUMMMMM for as long as you can until your lungs are empty of air. Repeat between 5-10 times and then pause to feel the effects of the nitric oxide in your system.
Nitric oxide increases blood flow and lowers blood pressure.
Even if you might sound—or feel like—an idiot doing it, it works because our parasympathetic neuron receptors in our lower belly and around our throat start our rest-relax-digest response when we breathe or stimulate these areas.
Fortunately, the leafy suburbs of Woolwich / Greenwich didn't have a trace of danger when I arrived. Two happy police officers were waiting in their patrol vehicle when I arrived.
And I drove off - with some "new" licence plates - and a sensation of calm and equanimity.
👉 Over to you!
What tactics do you use to bring yourself - when you’re at work or at home - back to equanimity instantly?
Which one of these tactics will you try?
ps If you’re an entrepreneur, a lawyer or another high-flying professional - who’s looking to connect with your optimal health and walk with courage into work and life in a way that feels effortless, get in touch and let’s have a conversation.
That’s it for this week!
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To your health and success!
Eric
Well that story had me totally hooked, and it was much more useful than a chocolate teapot.
...congrats on getting your car back...the stories i have here in oakland around those stolen rides lol...my friends car came back with a full paint job and new seats...really appreciate the voohumm...had never heard that idea before...super cool and helpful...