What’s the missing ingredient when joy has fizzled out?

E62: It’s obvious once you realise

Steenburg Vineyard, Cape Town, South Africa

“It’s come back.”

It was the news he didn't want to hear.

This morning I was coaching an individual living with cancer. His test results had come back confirming his cancer was growing again.

This week I also coached a TV executive, whose genius is to tell stories about the truth of other people, but who was struggling to tell the story about his own truth.

Last week, I coached a high-flying lawyer who’s had the fun and energy sucked out of her at work, feeling like she's a robot and her colleagues are in charge of the remote control.

Each one of these conversations was wonderful. 

Now, you might be wondering why these conversations were wonderful.

It’s because each one of these individuals - with their wholeness, their resourcefulness, and their creativity - turned their frustration and anxiety into a space of joy and possibility.

It’s hard to keep our monkey minds from thinking about "bad" thoughts. 

Will this round of chemotherapy work?

Will I ever be able to find balance?

Will I be able to show my authentic self without jeopardising my relationships or my career?

After all, when we're alone with our own thoughts in those empty pauses each day, it can feel like we're wallowing in infinite shades of gloomy misery from which it feels almost impossible to re-emerge.

It's important to give space to these "bad" thoughts. The truth is they're not bad: they're a way of pointing to what’s important. If we get angry, it's because we care: we don't get angry about things we don't care about.

But, these thoughts and ruminations are not the only thing we can focus on.

We have a choice.

The missing ingredient?

So what is the missing ingredient when joy is absent?

I shared in my last couple of newsletters some suggestions about how to re-discover the joy in what you do. You can, for example:

  1. Create the conditions for your brain to be joyful

  2. Discover what brings you joy and double down on it

  3. Find your trusted guides

  4. Bring out the best in others

  5. Do work that aligns with your values

  6. Press the "permission" button on your remote control

  7. Remind yourself what's going well

  8. The best teachers of joy are dogs

  9. Create tiny moments of joy

You can read more about these here. 👇

Want to escape the rat race? Don't, until you've tried this!

But I missed the key one. It’s the one that that came up in all of these coaching conversations.

Speaking joy into the room. 

Joy is possible, and we can re-discover it when we focus on joy.

Sure, your monkey mind might be worrying about what terrible event is going to befall you next.

But what if you turned your focus - intentionally - to joy?

Over to you

What might happen if you were to focus on joy?

To notice where it has shown up in your life before?

To strike up a conversation about joy at work?

To be curious about it and the ways in which your colleagues are joyful?

We can create the space for joy to be present.

We can have the courage to let our monkey minds take a break, and welcome joy back into our hearts.

There is joy around us waiting to be discovered.

ps If you’re an entrepreneur, a lawyer or another high-flying professional - who’s looking to bring joy back into your work and home life - by building a healthy brain for a career that’s full of success in a way that feels effortless, get in touch and let’s have a conversation.

That’s it for this week!

As always, I appreciate your feedback on Effortless Thursdays. 

If Effortless Thursdays resonated with you, I'd be grateful if you told just one friend to subscribe. They and you can always unsubscribe using the link below.

What did you think of this week’s edition? How can I make it more useful to you? Let me know in the comments, by email, on X or on LinkedIn.

To your health and success!

Eric