Let Your Strengths Take Centre Stage
E101: Leading with purpose without the applause
It's always that moment when a comedian walks on stage, they're giving it their all, but something's off, and they're met with a stony, cold silence.
It’s crushing, isn’t it? You feel for them, hoping for the set to end — or for the stage to swallow them up!
I remember wrapping up a six-month M&A deal — countless late nights, endless calls — only to hear my boss say, “Well done,” when we finally finished.
In the middle of the deal, just like that comedian, there was silence.
I wondered:
Was I running these meetings well?
Was my drafting good enough?
Was I handling our client to their satisfaction?
It was a long stretch of silence, ending in a simple “Well done.”
The problem with that kind of praise — a “well done,” a “good job,” a “brilliant”—even if it’s infrequent, is that it feels great but vanishes just as quickly.
In Effortless Thursdays Edition 17, I shared a way to overcome praise being pathetic.
Effortless Thursdays #17: SAVE don't praise
They all stood anxiously outside the family home, wondering - but without voicing - their concern in case it came true: had it reached the point where it was too dangerous to enter?
Instead of praise, we can “SAVE.” In other words, we can call out someone’s Strengths, Achievements, Values, and Effort — highlighting a person’s intrinsic worth rather than offering vague compliments.
And what that does is it creates connection.
Because “praise” is so common in high-pressure environments, it becomes something we crave for validation—creating dependency.
We end up waiting on tenterhooks for what is, in reality, just a subtle judgment by the person giving the praise: Am I “good enough?”
When we rely on praise, we give up some of our independence, waiting for others to recognise us.
It’s like standing in a spotlight that doesn’t quite belong to us. And the higher you rise in the ranks, the rarer that spotlight becomes.
It can get lonely, and it’s easy to spiral into self-doubt, questioning your self-worth.
So here’s an idea: “SAVE” yourself!
Focus on your inherent qualities—the strengths you know you bring, the achievements you’ve made, the values you hold, and the effort you put in.
It doesn’t matter whether others acknowledge them.
It’s tempting to feel like a tall poppy that needs to be trimmed down, but recognising and owning your strengths, achievements, values, and effort means you don’t need external praise to validate who you are or the impact you make.
These qualities are yours, and they’re worth standing tall for.
👉 Over to you
Take a moment to “SAVE” yourself.
Share in the comments below a strength you’ve used, an achievement you’ve made, a value you hold, or the effort you’ve put into something important to you.
And if you’re reading others’ comments, share what you notice about their qualities, too.
Today and tomorrow, I’m in Cardiff.
I’m here with a good friend and coach, Laura Gilchrist, and we’re engaged in an amazing learning experience to advance our practice in Motivational Interviewing.
Our learning today inspired today’s this edition 101.
ps If you're an entrepreneur, lawyer, or high-performing professional seeking to pause, recalibrate, and lead with more effortlessness, get in touch and let’s have a conversation.
That’s it for this week!
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To your health, joy, and success—one step at a time!
Eric
"It's always that moment when a comedian walks on stage, they're giving it their all, but something's off, and they're met with a stony, cold silence."
Was that you standing in the back at my last gig?