She finally said “No”
E107: The mindset and energy shift for leadership that feels effortless
Jane finally said “No”.
It wasn’t an aggressive “No”. There was no shouting, no slamming doors, no veiled threats.
It was calm. Clear. Powerful.
Jane, an associate running the partnership gauntlet, had spent months building a relationship with a new client. It was her moment. The client had asked her to meet to pitch for a new deal.
But the excitement soon gave way to anger and frustration.
You see, when there’s not enough work to go around, people react. Especially the people in charge.
That’s exactly what happened when a partner at her firm barged into her office, demanding to take over the client relationship—a relationship Jane had nurtured through countless hours of effort and trust-building. It felt like an ambush.
He wanted access to everything—her insights, her intellectual property, the credit.
Jane could have caved. She could have handed over everything, letting him swoop in to claim the spotlight.
But she didn’t.
Jane simply said “No”. If the partner wanted to join in, it had to be on her terms.
If you’re like me, you might be wondering if this was a career limiting move on Jane's part. So how did she do it?
The power of how you show you show up
Jane’s “No” wasn’t born from aggression or ego. It came from a place of calm authority.
You see, how you show up determines whether you’re an excellent lawyer whose work feels effortless, or one where life feels like a grind.
You have space.
You can handle any lingering frustrations or anger.
You have the energy and presence to stand your ground.
You exude a quiet confidence.
How you show up is more important than you might think.
Show up as someone who’s an easy walkover, and people will walk all over you.
Show up as someone who can do everything, and you’ll be the most in-demand person in the room.
It’s a lesson I learned the hard way as a lawyer. For years, I carried my ego like a shield, using it to prove my expertise and value, but the moment I had to say no or put my interest ahead, my shield melted away.
Over time, I realised that my presence—how I showed up—mattered far more than what I said or did.
That’s the shift Jane made.
Fishing with patience
Imagine two people fishing by a lakeshore.
One is frantic—sitting on the edge of their chair, scooping the water with a net, trying to catch as many fish as possible.
The other sits calmly, their rod cast into the water. They wait patiently, knowing they’ve done all they need to do. They’ve prepared, shown up, and now they trust the process.
Which one are you?
Before Jane learned to show up with presence, she was like the first fisherman—always chasing, reacting, trying to prove herself. But once she embraced a different way of showing up, her energy shifted.
She would go into meetings and her colleagues and partners started to notice something different. It’s like when you walk into a restaurant and a familiar smell greets you, but you can’t quite name what it is. Her colleagues sensed something had changed.
It was her presence: more grounded, more confident.
That’s how she could say “No”—not from a place of defiance, but from a place of quiet strength.
As Jane said:
“I'm not grasping any more - I'm present and connected. I'm not defensive. I'm engaged. I've loosened the grip.”
Jane isn’t alone in this transformation. Other clients I’ve worked with have shared similar shifts after aligning how they show up.
Here’s another client, an entrepreneur, when I asked what she was leaving the session with:
“A weight lifted. You feel on fire when you can trust yourself”
Or another senior executive:
“It's a great place to be where I am mentally. It's calm and not clouded.”
What determines how you show up?
How you show up is shaped by two key factors:
Your lifestyle
A well-rested, nourished, and regulated body gives you the foundation to show up at your best. Good sleep, movement, and nutrient-dense meals fuel mental clarity and emotional balance.
Foundational habits like these also prevent burnout and sustain your energy, especially in high-pressure roles.
Your mindset
Cultivating a mindset built on awareness, acceptance, and intentional action helps you create space to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively
When your lifestyle and mindset are aligned, you bring a calm, confident energy to every situation. That’s what true showing up looks like.
It’s almost certainly not this 👇- something that’s all too common.
Interrupting others to prove your expertise.
Rushing through interactions without listening.
Bringing frantic, reactive energy into the room.
Being lacklustre, drained by poor health and misalignment with what’s really important to you.
ps If you're a lawyer, entrepreneur, or high-performing professional curious to take the first step to how you show up effortlessly, let’s discuss how small shifts in your lifestyle and mindset can transform your leadership.
👉 Over to you
The gap between a brilliant lawyer that feels the daily grind and one that feels effortless lies in how you show up.
When you show up with energy, presence, and mindset aligned, you create a foundation for leadership that feels effortless.
I know, like Jane, you can navigate even the hardest challenges with this feeling of effortlessness, too.
The question is, what is the gap you need to close to show up like Jane did?
That’s it for this week!
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To your health, joy, and success—one step at a time!
Eric
Great metaphors and clear examples of how to show up with presence. Thanks Eric!
Great article Eric! Early in my career, I certainly felt the pressure to perform, and in turn, developed an unhealthy mindset towards success. Looking back, it wasn't good.
A big part of "growing up" was developing a healthy mindset in this area. A lot of which came from outside of the professional world. Exercise, finding hobbies I enjoy, and learning about intentionality/manifesting. This gave me the confidence to play the long game with my life.