The Partnership Gauntlet: the 6 pressures you can't talk to anyone about
E105: The hidden challenges of being made up—and how to navigate them with clarity
It’s 10 pm, the rain is lashing against the eerie silence of your office window.
You’re poring over the documents for an emergency board meeting that’s been called for tomorrow morning by one of your major clients. You chew on a few M&Ms as you know it’s going to be a late night again.
It would be okay, but tonight you should have been at a dinner with a new client. And what’s worse, one of your arch rivals who’s also trying to get made up joined the dinner instead.
You know the path to partnership is not a walk in the park, but sometimes it feels like you’re running the gauntlet.
And even after crossing the threshold into partnership, the pressures don’t stop—they evolve.
Here are six pressures of running the partnership gauntlet—along with questions to help you reflect on the things you might be feeling but are afraid to ask yourself.
ps If you're navigating the path to partnership or already feeling the pressures of leadership—whether it’s juggling lifestyle expectations, people challenges, or redefining success—get in touch. Let’s explore how you can lead with clarity, balance, and purpose.
Pressure 1: Lifestyle inflation
When I started out as a lawyer, my trainee salary was £18,000. Nowadays you could almost move the decimal point one place to the right.
As you’ve climbed the ranks, your income has allowed you to enjoy life in ways you couldn’t before.
Staying in hotels, not hostels. Paying off more of your student loans. Setting money aside to get on the housing ladder, or for your wedding.
But the promise of a jump in your earnings if you make partner often fuels lifestyle inflation.
Like price inflation, lifestyle inflation can quickly get out of control, making it almost impossible to scale back.
A second property. A sports car. Another sports car. Private school fees. Michelin-starred dining.
But with all these upgrades, what would it look like to pause and consider:
Does this lifestyle reflect what truly brings you joy, or is it shaped more by the expectations around you?
Pressure 2: Negotiating the tightrope of authentic relationships
Although it’s idealistic to think we can keep politics out of the workplace, the reality of office politics—especially when it comes to finding the right sponsors to champion your partnership prospects—can leave you feeling frazzled.
Your key sponsor pulls you aside and suggests you need to get Tom—an influential partner—on board, too.
But while Tom is well-respected among the partners, he’s infamous among associates for treating his juniors appallingly.
Taking steps toward partnership that seem to clash with your core values, like integrity, can make you question whether this is truly the right path—or even the right firm—for you.
What would it take to navigate these decisions while staying true to what’s most important to you?
Pressure 3: The slow drip of sacrifice
At first, it’s just one late night. Then, a friend’s birthday you couldn’t attend because you needed to refine your business case for partnership. Then, it’s a family holiday you reschedule because the client "needs you".
Perhaps it hurts most when your spouse asks why you keep coming home so late, and instead of hearing their longing for your presence, you’re caught thinking, 'I’m the one bringing in the income that’s fueling this lifestyle inflation'.
Over time, the slow drip of these sacrifices becomes the rhythm of your partnership journey. You tell yourself it’s just for now, that once you get made up, things will get easier.
But as you navigate the relentless pace, the small compromises accumulate, and the person you’re becoming is shaped by the life you’re leaving behind.
What would it look like to pause and reflect on whether the sacrifices you’re making align with the relationships and life you truly value?
Pressure 4: Trapped in an endless loop of expectations
It’s a relentless cycle. You’ve worked hard to meet expectations your whole life—grades, exams, deadlines, parents, romantic partners.
And now, as you run the partnership gauntlet, those expectations only amplify.
The firm demands more hours. One of the partners you’re trying to win over rewrites one of your client emails—just to show he can.
And then there’s you—the harshest critic of all.
You’re in an endless loop where every achievement triggers the next expectation, and the wheel keeps turning.
“It’s all necessary,” you tell yourself.
You need to show dedication to meet your billable targets, impress the decision-makers, and secure that elusive partnership.
But being in the loop is draining. It’s not just about hours worked—it’s about the mental strain of proving yourself over and over again.
What would it look like to create some space and consider which expectations truly matter to you—and which ones you might let go of?
Here's an idea from Effortless Thursdays edition 83 for how to press the ESCAPE button on your deluge of 'What if?'s
How to press your ESCAPE button on the deluge of 'What If?'s
When I was at school, we learned how to write computer programmes. This was long before LLMs (Language Learning Models) infiltrated our daily lexicon. It was pretty basic. In fact, we were using "BBC BASIC".
Pressure 5: Crossing the bridge while staying authentic
The path to partnership isn’t just a professional milestone—it’s a shift in identity, how others see you, and how you see yourself.
The camaraderie you once shared begins to fade, and the responsibilities of leadership push you to tread carefully in interactions with your former peers, lest you lose their trust
One day, you’re working side by side with your fellow associates, sharing the same frustrations and triumphs. The next, you’re sitting in meetings as a partner, and the energy in the room shifts.
Conversations that were once open and candid now feel more measured. Relationships that once felt warm and collegial carry a subtle air of distance. Even the way your former peers look at you seems different.
Amid the pride of making partner, there’s a quiet sense of loss—the camaraderie you once shared feels more remote, replaced by the weight of new privileges and responsibilities.
What would it look like to navigate this transition in a way that honours both your growth and the connections that shaped your journey?
Pressure 6: The weight of wanting more
You’ve crossed the bridge and can call yourself 'partner' earning the recognition you worked so hard for.
But the moment you settle into this new role, fresh pressures surface: bringing in bigger clients, leading larger teams, hitting higher profit targets, and ensuring your influence keeps growing.
The desire for "more" can quickly spiral into a new cycle of striving, where success always feels one step ahead.
What might it take to pause and define what success really means to you?
Here's an idea from Effortless Thursdays edition 85 to help you uncover what you really need when it comes to success.
Seriously, what do you really need right now?
I noticed I was running around like a headless chicken this week, my feet not touching the ground.
👉 Over to you
What’s one pressure of crossing the bridge to partnership you’ve faced that’s been hard to share?
That’s it for this week!
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To your health, joy, and success—one step at a time!
Eric
partnership sounds more like indentured servitude than partnership. for sure not for me