Effortless Thursdays #47: 12 seconds that will help your team shine

Set aside your awkward feelings

You start shifting in your chair with slightly sweaty palms when you realise you have to have that conversation.

You know. The one where you have to give feedback about someone’s poor performance. Or the conversation where you say, “We’re outplacing you” (I mean, seriously, which HR professional came up with that horrid expression for firing someone!). Or the conversation that dashes someone’s hopes because they are “not ready” for promotion.

You know these conversations are important for the organisation, but there’s a fog of fear that envelopes you, even if you are well-practised.

It’s not easy as a leader to create the stability and security you strive to cultivate for your team - to protect them from the worst detritus of office politics so they can get on with their job - when these conversations can run a coach and horses through your best intentions.

Time is short, too. 

When you’re busy, it’s easier to avoid giving the tough feedback. It’s easier to avoid those uncomfortable feelings. It’s easier to head into another important meeting.

So how about not fighting those awkward feelings for a change, but sticking with what’s easy?

Something different

Let’s explore what else you can do.

I invite you to set aside the difficult conversation you know you need to have for now - that moment will come - and focus on something else.

We can spend way too much time focusing on what’s not going well. Not just about members of our team or our colleagues, but also the people we are close to at home.

John is bad at this... Sally is poor at that… Rob really needs to improve his attitude…

Because we’re adept problem solvers, it’s natural to be like a heat-seeking missile lasering in on what the target problem is.

But I want to invite you to take a moment to focus instead on what is good already. 

What is good about your team - notwithstanding their bad points or what they should improve??

What is good about all the people you spend time with?

If you decide to experiment with my invitation to focus on what is good, I’m confident that you’ll see a step change in their mood, the confidence they have in themselves, and the horizons that become possible for them.

And, most of all, you’ll see yourself in a different way, too. The leader who brings a heart-presence to every person you meet. The family member at home who creates a deeper connection. 

You’ll experience an energy for others that brings more energy for you. Or, in the words that the Bishop of York shared at the recent memorial service of one of my school music teachers, you’ll bring a light to the people around you that allows them to radiate their own light outwards towards everyone else.

The light that has shone on me

Most of my clients know that I keep an appreciation journal. It’s a set of notes in my electronic diary (Tana) that records the feedback I’ve got from people - clients, readers of Effortless Thursdays, or people I’ve had conversations with.

I want to share a selection with you. 

It’s possible to think that this is a brazen attempt at self-promotion. And you’d be partially right. But my desire is for you also to think about what is good in these comments.

Each of these has given me a degree of confidence, a warmth in my heart, and provided a catalyst for me to continue to be better at what I do. Each of them has focused on something specific and highlighted a strength of mine, something I’ve achieved, one of my values or the effort I’ve put in.

There’s this from the talented Alexandra Allen who brings out the best in you if you want to run an online course.

There’s the indefatigable Rick Lewis who brings out the best in you if you want to tell your story.

Moya - a subscriber who was the first to pledge to pay a monthly amount for my Effortless Thursdays newsletter.

Clodagh - a friend who shared this newsletter with her husband.

Karena - my futurist friend who helps us navigate what the future holds for us, and her feedback about Effortless Thursdays #41

Effortless Thursdays #41: It must be hard having a perfectionist brain

Tiantian - a friend who wants me to narrate my newsletters, but still battles on reading them! She likes subjects like death, which I touched on in Effortless Thursdays #35

Effortless Thursdays #35: Death will come. Until then, try this 👇

The light you shine on your team

If you want to shine some light on your team, so they can shine their own light in the world, here’s a reminder about SAVE-ing them.

Over to you!

Share something with your team member about what you notice about their strengths, their achievements, their values, and/or the effort they put into something.

Share something they might not expect to hear: offer something surprising, delightful, perhaps even humorous.

I know you’ll know what to say.

And I predict it will take you less than 12 seconds.

I’d love to hear from you or - if you’re reading this on Substack - share in the comments below.

Sharing your insights is a way of giving back:

• to me (as it helps me learn and improve what I share with you) and

• to your fellow readers (there’s power in sharing your solutions with others).

ps If you’re an entrepreneur, a lawyer or another high-flying professional and want someone to help you connect your ideas in creative ways so you can build a healthy brain for a career that’s full of success and joy and feels effortless, get in touch and let’s have a conversation.

That’s it for this week!

As always, I appreciate your feedback on Effortless Thursdays. 

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To your health and success!

Eric