Is it worth leading with happiness?

E68: Try this formula fresh from the World Happiness Summit 2024 and let me know!

My head would be buried in my notes trying to make sense of everything I'd learned so far so I could come up with a rider¹. I'd often be mid-thought, and jump out of my chair when the partner I worked with boomed:

I don't know if the partner I worked for was a budding psychologist, but he asked me this question often.

Did he ask anyone else? I'm not sure.

The deals we worked on were all-consuming, so hearing him ask this was comforting, even if the words startled me out of my chair, and even if I wondered what could be done if I weren't happy.

I thought about this question, "Are you happy?", plenty of times this week because I was at the World Happiness Summit (WOHASU).

It's a 2-day event - this year in London - where several hundred folks engage on matters of the heart that try to make their way into workplace environments. Things like:

• Purpose

• Meaning

• Wellbeing

• Happiness

As I listened to world experts share their insights, like Dr Michael Steger on Purpose, Professor Lord Richard Layard on Happiness, or Dr Robert Biswas-Diener on Connoisseurship, the dots started connecting in my mind.

So in this week's Effortless Thursdays, I wanted to share some of these dots with you and give you a formula for leading with happiness that might change how you enjoy showing up as a leader.

It might even help you reach the end of a career without the regret that can accompany a "career where you've achieved everything".

_________________________

Dot 1: What is happiness for you?

Happiness is an emotional state of wellbeing that's a combination of three things: your enjoyment, satisfaction and meaning. According to Dr Arthur Brooks, Professor of Management Practice at Harvard Business School, people with the most wellbeing have these in abundance.

Psychologists call this kind of happiness "Subject Wellbeing" and it's helpful for scientists to run experiments to discover how these component parts matter in the real world.

But perhaps the most helpful, practical definition of happiness was what Dr Fred Luskin, Director of the Stanford University Forgiveness Projects, shared. He'd heard someone say:

Happiness is wanting what you have

This idea of happiness is deceptively simple, yet it brought a collective groan of realisation in the auditorium. Stress is wanting anything else.

When we step out of the present moment and think about what we want, we miss what's right in front of us - the things we already have.

Dot 2: Why are so many leaders unhappy at work?

Here are some ideas.

You don't belong - you don't feel part of the team at work, so putting your hand up to contribute is hard, let alone avoiding the fear of making a mistake.

You lack a purpose - you don't have an anchor thrown into the future that creates a present foundation to support you in making decisions for that future and activating the best in you.

You don't have enough meaning in life - even if you're successful and you've got everything, it's easy to feel a hollowness inside.

You're on the hedonic treadmill - you've made your millions or even billions, but need another (m/b)illion because ... well, pleasure is short-lived, so you seek more pleasure.

Perhaps the leader on the hedonic treadmill has forgotten that "Happiness is wanting what you have".

Do any of those reasons resonate with you?

Dot 3: How do we lead with happiness?

Leading with happiness is not simply about asking a colleague "Are you happy?".

That question is certainly helpful because it focuses our mind on what can make us happy, especially when our minds are wired to focus instinctively on worry, anxiety or fear.

As Marcus Aurelius said, "The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts"

Yet it takes courage to open up our hearts to the possibility of bringing happiness and joy into our lives. 

So what else might we need to lead with happiness?

First, add people.

One of the things I write about is joy. It's one of three pillars for Effortless Leadership, and also one of the three components for happiness, in addition to satisfaction and meaning).

At WOHASU 2024, Dr Arthur Brooks shared a formula for joy. When we seek pleasure, by itself, it's not enough for happiness. We need to add people and a memory to create joy

Enjoyment = Pleasure + People + Memory

The key here is people. We are a kin-based species. We thrive when we are with others. Loneliness and isolation have real-life consequences on our happiness and our health, as the US Surgeon General, Vivek Murthy, shared with us.

I've always wondered why I haven't been on a ski trip by myself. When I saw this formula for enjoyment, it made sense to me. I need the people who create the memories that turn something I get pleasure from into joy.

Second, being happy yourself.

Pets have been shown to reduce stress and anxiety. Part of that is down to a process called co-regulation. That's where your neurons mirror those of the pet you're with. If your pet is calm and relaxed, your neurons will seek to mirror that state too.

The same applies to humans, too.

As you co-regulate with another human - like someone in your team - your brain's mirror neurons activate, and this enables the person in the deregulated state to mirror your state. Your endocrine systems tune into each other and produce similar hormones.

I'm not saying you have to be happy all the time. It certainly wouldn't be authentic to show up all smiles when you're going through a particularly stressful period.

But we can boost our ability to be happy and show up in a good mood if we focus on the key lever that unlocks our mood and energy: eating real food 👇

👉 Over to you!

Professor Lord Richard Layard challenged us during the conference with this quest.

What if your purpose were to create happiness?

To create as much happiness as you can in the world around you - in your teams, your stakeholders, your family. And in yourself.

What if this were your quest as a leader, too?

Ps if you're wondering how to create satisfaction and meaning, here's the TL;DR from Dr Arthur Brooks:

Satisfaction comes from the joy after you struggle, you have to go through the struggle to be satisfied.

The secret to lasting satisfaction is not to have what you want but to want what you have.

Learn to want less. Bucket lists are a list of wants that make us feel inadequate today. Instead, make a bucket list and cross out those wants.

To find meaning, answer two questions:

1. Why am I alive?

2. For what would you die today?

When you have the answers to those two questions, how you show up in the world and everything you do, think and feel will have meaning.

ps If you’re an entrepreneur, a lawyer or another high-flying professional - who’s looking to bring joy, meaning, purpose and happiness back into your work - by building a healthy brain for a career that’s full of success in a way that feels effortless, get in touch and let’s have a conversation.

That’s it for this week!

As always, I appreciate your feedback on Effortless Thursdays. 

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To your health and success!

Eric

1. A rider is an extract of words, carefully chosen, that you allocate a number to (Rider 32A, 76B, 89C). You then write the number in the place on the document where you want that "Rider" inserted. That was the sophistication of the technology back the in late 1990s if we wanted to amend a 300-page agreement.