Three things I wish I had known before I led a team
E98: Insights from my journey (plus bonus insights from a leader everyone admires)
1. Words create worlds
There’s a children’s rhyme that goes:
“Sticks and stones may break my bones but names can never hurt me.”
It’s well-intentioned but as useful as a chocolate teapot.
Words won’t bruise us physically, but they can stir emotions just as intense as when an inconsiderate driver cuts us up on the motorway.
“You’re always late!”
“That draft needs work!”
“Yeh, he is really difficult!” (which you overhear someone say as you walk into the office pantry, realising they’re talking about you)
Emotions are something we all experience.
But as leaders, we can choose our words with more wisdom, knowing the impact they can have.
For example, we can share what we observe, rather than judging others. 👇
Or we can focus on the strengths a team member has?
“You’re great at attention to detail. How would you use this next time you’re drafting an agreement?”
“Excellence shows up in everything you do. Where does it go when you join a meeting at 9.10 am?”
“He’s great at bringing all the points of view to a problem. When someone says he’s difficult, he might be overusing that strength. How might he turn down the dial?”
In other words, it’s easy to focus on what’s wrong. As a leader, it’s time to shine a spotlight on what’s right. 👇
2. Lead with joy
Leadership is relational.
Organisations pay people to do work. They offer perks. All of this is transactional.
It’s a leader that can make work something you want to jump out of bed to do.
That makes the transactional - the things that we often want from a job - become secondary.
Because what a great leader offers - and what we value most - is the deep connection with someone who inspires us. 👇
The law firm partners I was most inspired by were those who showed up with joy.
I don’t mean they were happy.
No.
Joy can be experienced even in the most sour of moments: In death. In loss. In struggle.
Joy can be the bedfellow of anger, or frustration, or fear.
Joy is about your presence, your connection, your authenticity, the meaning you bring to someone.
What I’ve noticed is when I have been more present, focusing on connection, and being my authentic self, my team can be themselves too. They always have the answers. All I’m changing is helping them to share their ideas more freely and coming up with solutions we might not have discovered otherwise.
3. Put health at the heart of your success
I wrote about one of my clients recently.
Her story of transformation seemed like a fairy tale. 👇
Her sister asked her husband, “You said my sister’s been sleeping like a baby. She’s lost weight. She’s got her energy back. She feels alive. She must be on a diet! Which one is it?”
Her husband replied, “It’s not a diet. It’s just the way she eats now”
The thing about our food is that it transforms how we show up. It’s the foundation of our health. And it’s the foundation of our success.
When we eat real food, like my client, we feel we can tackle any challenge life throws at us.
Why?
When I was working in high pressured environments, speed was of the essence. Clients didn’t worry themselves if you had four other clients who also needed a conference call at the same time.
All that pressure can build up.
The secret weapon that true health unleashes is space.
Space to pause.
Space to step back.
Space to respond, rather than react.
Space to tap into all the tools, knowledge and wisdom we have gained so we can bring that in the moments when it really matters
And for smart, dedicated, high-achievers, a scintilla of space can be the difference between a happy client or one that wants to threaten litigation.
Health makes it easier to be your authentic self.
ps If you're an entrepreneur, lawyer, or high-performing professional seeking to pause, recalibrate, and lead with more effortlessness, get in touch and let’s have a conversation.
Special Bonus
I asked the managing partner of Reed Smith’s London office - who happens to be my husband and a leader respected in the industry - what he wished he had known before he became a leader.
Care for your team. Don’t just look after them. Really, really care.
Be generous with your time.
👉 Over to you
We have it within each of us to transform not only the leaders we choose to show up as, but also the environments we cultivate.
By choosing our words wisely, leading with joy, putting health at the heart of success, and caring for our teams, we can create a ripple effect of positive change.
Which of these insights resonates most with you?
What might you incorporate into your leadership?
That’s it for this week!
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To your health, joy, and success—one step at a time!
Eric
…don’t tempt me with a chocolate teapot…lots of great wisdom in here top to bottom…but the care resonates for me…if you are working or managing people without care or some level/knowledge of their worlds/needs/wants you are setting up a future unhappy environment…work to understand your people…